abundance mindset

What you resist persists

A few months ago I was getting into a really great diet routine, I was working out regularly and just feeling really good. This change and effort was coming from a place aligned with my identity, (where we always create lasting change).

I was so excited, and then I got sick, and not just me, our whole family. My 12 month old son was up in the middle of the night throwing up and it was just terrible. We were all really weak, sick, and tired. The sad thing is that we didn’t only get sick the one time. We got sick the first time, got a little break just in time to have my son’s birthday party. We made the mistake of having 18 people stay with us and then we were sick all over again.

While I was in the process of getting over my stomach bug the second time, I found myself getting discouraged. I was discouraged because I was thinking about all of the things that I was excited for in my health, and my business. As I was laying in bed recovering, trying so hard not to throw up the cracker that I just ate, I thought of something interesting. What you resist persists.

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How do we resist?

What I mean by that is the more we hold things at arm’s length and try to hold things off, the more those things persist in our lives. Now what we may not be thinking of is the fact that when we resist things we’re avoiding them. We are doing our best to keep them away from us. There are things in our lives that we hold at bay, whether it is some kind of outcome, social situation, money situation, or really anything.

What we do not realize is that we are using a whole lot of effort to hold that thing off. So, for example let's say that we want to hold off debt in our lives. What are we actually focusing on? We are focused on the debt itself. We do not focus on the abundance in our life right now. Right?

What I found in my season of illness and our household getting sick over and over again is that the more I thought about how sick I was and that I didn’t have time for this, the longer that sickness persisted. I kept thinking to myself how awful this season of life was that we were going through, I became frustrated because I wasn’t feeling better as quickly as I thought I should. The more I focused on that, the longer the sickness went on. I am not saying that it went on only because I was focused on that, but just keep in mind the reality that what we resist persists.

What resisting looks like

These are a few examples of things that I used to do in regards to resisting. In another business of mine I spent a year where I was focused on getting reviews for that business. I saw another business owner doing it and I felt like I needed to get really good reviews also. But I also thought I can’t get any bad reviews and I inwardly begged that nobody would leave me a bad review. I kept focusing on creating this resistance, like I was holding the door closed on someone who is trying to get in. That is what resistance feels like.

During that year I was so focused on not getting any bad reviews, which created resistance. I was trying so hard to hold off the bad reviews on our 6-7 year old business. As I look back, can you guess which year we did get one bad review? Your right! It was the year that I placed all my energy and focus on the very thing that I didn’t want.

Resistance can also feel like driving a car. You have a foot on the gas, but you also have your emergency brake on. You can still drive your car with the emergency brake on, but it is really difficult and will eventually severely damage your car.

Take a look at yourself

I want to encourage you to take a look at your life and see if there is something that you can easily identify that you are avoiding. Something that you are kind of trying to keep out by holding the door closed as it tries to push its way in. Like an annoying little brother who would be trying to get into a room and I would be fighting and holding the door closed because he was annoying me. If you have something like that in your life, it isn’t necessarily bad news for you, but you should know that it is really just going to keep coming up for you.

Putting all of that time and effort into focusing on holding the door closed means that all of your strength and energy is invested into the very thing that you do not want. This means that you are probably going to still end up getting the result that you don’t really want.

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You may be asking now, how do we change that? Here are a few quick tips for you that can help:

Tip Number 1

Start visualizing what you do want instead of what you do not want.

Stay focused on what you want, and do not allow yourself to get distracted by the things that you don’t want.

Tip Number 2

Check on your support system.

Do you have a support system? Does your support system understand how lonely entrepreneurship can be? Does your support system see how sometimes you are sitting in a room all by yourself? How your doing things against all the obstacles that come up, how you are taking risks, and how money can be scary and you may not know when your paycheck is going to come in, or even how it is going to come in? Do they get it? If they don’t, look for a support system that specifically understands the unique and difficult challenges of entrepreneurship.

Tip Number 3

Get out your journal.

You may be thinking, “Oh my word, another journaling person.” No, journaling scientifically does things in our brains that moves out beliefs from one portion of our brain to the other and then out. This is not a one and done situation, you have to be regularly writing out your thoughts. Our limiting beliefs, and our negative thoughts don’t have to just stay inside of our brains. We can take action and move them out by writing.

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Rewiring for success

I often take my clients through a four week process where we spend time rewiring our brains for success. Because the reality of all of this is that our brains are designed to keep us safe, and to keep us away from danger. Being entrepreneurs is hard on our brains because most of the things that we need to act on to succeed are way outside of our brains comfort zone.

We have so many responsibilities, we are the ones who work out our taxes and our business expenses. We are the ones who have to constantly be innovating. If we don’t innovate, no one else will, if we don’t innovate no one disapproves. But most importantly, if we do not innovate, our business dies.

All of that brings me to the point that I am really trying to focus on. You need to shift some things in order to stop all of the resisting in your life. My point is that what you resist persists, so if we stop resisting all of the things in our lives, then we naturally have to create a state of allowing. This is the place that caused me to feel a little uncomfortable. For me it was simply that I was sick and I would stay that way for a little while, until both I and my body as a whole was feeling better.

Instead of holding off, or feeling depressed or angry, what if we just sat with our feelings for a little while? What would that ultimately change? What space would that blow open inside of your heart? What creativity might start flowing? This conversation is so important to have with yourself.

For me this conversation looks a little like this. Yes I am sick. But instead of resisting that because it keeps persisting, I am going to accept it and allow it and recognize that I am still okay if nothing changes as quickly as I would like.

I am seeing alot of people right now focusing on change and strategy in their businesses. I am seeing articles like - Three quick tips that you do to market your business , or Three ways that you can create passive income. But you know the reality is that none of those things matter. If your brain is hardwired for failure, if it is hardwired to keep you limited and safe, you are going to be failing. All of those skills and strategies are like putting a bandaid on a wound that requires surgery. Does that method make any sense? No. What first needs to happen is you need to rewrite your beliefs, and rewire your brains.

Our brains filtration system

Our brains have something inside them called the Reticular Activating System. This is essentially our filter system. The world around causes us to receive way too much data into our brain at any one time, so our brains are made with a filter system. How our brains filter that data is based on what we believe. Our brains will look at what we believe - which is thought plus emotion repeated over and over and over again. Then our brains will take that and say, “I’ll just automate that belief and I’ll bring in everything that lines up with that belief and I will filter out anything that doesn’t.”

We spend so much of our time using our brains in their default setting, when our brains are meant to be our operating system that we program with our specifications, what we need. I believe that God has given us these beautiful brains and we don’t even invest any time in learning how to use them. All too often we let the outside circumstances dictate how we feel. However we need to remember that we create change from the inside out, like we are the thermostat. We set the temperature and it stays at that temperature no matter what the temperature is outside. We should be like a thermostat, not going up or down depending on the temperature that is around us. We set the temperature because we are working from the inside out.

Two important things to remember as you are developing your mindset in our business, or even if you are going through something in your life. What you resist persists, and Set the temperature for your own success. Don’t forget what can happen if you simply sit in the moment with your circumstances and embrace where you are at. You will not be disappointed with the results.

Hiding behind your rebrand

What we don’t realize in these situations is that our brains want to keep us from jumping off the edge of a metaphorical cliff. Our brains are created to help to keep us safe, but in these instances this safety net is self sabotage. What our brains don’t realize is that we CAN jump off the edge of that cliff, because we have always had wings.

7 Signs of a Scarcity Mindset

I’ve been on quite the mindset journey over the past several years-maybe you’ve been around to see my transformation firsthand. If you haven’t, lemme break it down for ya:

I used to live with a mindset that success is a fixed trait you’re born with. I could only do things that I knew I’d be 100% successful at or I’d have to live with the confirmation that I was a failure.

I also lived with a crippling belief that everything I needed and wanted was outside myself. It was not for me. And it was a limited quantity that I had to get to before someone else. You might call that competitive, but that’s not really true. It’s scarcity. Scarcity is the belief that everything you want or need is in a limited quantity and you either have to get to it first or you completely miss out because someone else got your resource first. It’s most prevalent in people’s beliefs around money, but it really relates to EVERYTHING in life!

Scarcity is a completely sucky way to live. But it’s not permanent. I’ve been on a transformational journey of finding abundance in my life and now my norm is abundant living and thinking. An abundance mindset believes that there’s enough for everyone, that new ideas, clients, money, and life is always being created, and that everything we need is on it’s way to us already.

But, sometimes a scarcity mindset can take over and blindside me. It took some time, but now I know the signs to look for. Here are mine. Wanna know my biggest signs of a scarcity mindset?

7 signs of a Scarcity Mindset

Scarcity Mindset Sign #1: I budget and look for ways to cut back in our life

While budgeting is a super helpful tool for household management, I notice myself shrinking back from financial hurdles as I cut out things we enjoy to make room for bills. I’m letting the problem be bigger than me.

Scarcity Mindset Sign #2: I overspend

Ironically enough, after I spend time cutting back, it’s almost uncanny what happens next: I overspend. I get overwhelmed by the thoughts of a joyless, bill-filled budget and...give up. All of a sudden my well planned, on-budget grocery list goes out the window and I’m buying treats and indulgences instead, mourning the loss of all things fun and lovely in life. Yeah...I can be a little dramatic at times.

Scarcity Mindset Sign #3: I try to fix past wrongs

As soon as I notice I’m spending my time trying to fix past wrongs, I know I’m living in scarcity. I can’t let the past rest and I need to figure out what I wish I would have said, plan for how to prove myself right, or even just dream up alternative endings to a situation that’s done. What’s the problem? I can’t actually go back and change anything, so I’m believing the situation I want to fix wasn’t enough. Instead of learning from it, I’m trying to change it.

Scarcity Mindset Sign #4: I complain easily (rant, vent, whatever you wanna call it)

This one is pretty self explanatory, but when I’m in a scarcity-driven state, I don’t just make a complaint, I complain about everything! From believing every driver on the road is dumb, to the number of emails i get or don’t get, to not having anything to eat or wear or do or, the only thing I can see is unhappiness. Literally everything becomes fair game for complaining. The only abundance in my life at that point is my negative point of view.

Scarcity Mindset Sign #5: Everything rubs me the wrong way

I notice that when I don’t feel like I am enough or that I have enough, everyone irritates me. No one can do anything right. Every request is a major inconvenience, and I’m constantly the victim to other’s choices. Basically, if this is you, know that the people choosing to stick by you are probably wishing it were easier to do so right now.

Scarcity Mindset Sign #6: I ask the wrong questions

I ask myself questions like  “how many bookings do I still need?” “should I cut back my paycheck if we don’t book enough?” “why aren’t people booking me?” and “where is our money going?” You can probably guess what I’m going to say about these questions: They’re the WRONG questions to ask yourself!

Scarcity Mindset Sign #7: I answer emails or scroll on social media first thing in the morning

If I’m clearing my inbox, strategically commenting on other’s social posts, what’s the problem? Aren’t those smart things to do? No. Not first thing in the morning. I’m starting the day believing that my time belongs to someone else. I’m living under the tyranny of the urgent and I’m ultimately spending my entire day spinning wheels instead of moving my business forward. A few minutes answer emails or scrolling completely shifts my mindset.

Where’s my scarcity mindset coming from?

A place of not-enoughness. And how can I tell? Often, I hold this scarcity in my body in the form of physical symptoms I don’t pay attention to. If I stop, take deep breaths, and repeat my favorite phrase “I am enough. I have enough” over and over, I notice my jaw relaxed (I didn’t even know I was clenching it!), my heartrate slows noticeably (what? My heart was thumping in my chest and I honestly had no clue?) my headache begins to ease and muscles begin to relax in my back and hips (yeah, I carry tension in my hips. That’s not a thing I ever realized I’d put out there!)

So, if you’re like me and find yourself living in scarcity in one of these common ways, you can recognize that “I’m enough and I have enough.” But how do you then begin welcoming an abundance driven mindset back into your life? Tune in for my next post, where I break down my top ways to kick out scarcity and welcome and abundance mindset to thrive in my life.

Want to learn how to completely change your mindset?

Join the Create Your Breakthrough Year workshop and learn how to effect change at every level so you can gain momentum, create clarity, and nurture growth in your life and business.

Because if you don’t already have those things, you’re probably living in scarcity and holding off the very growth you want in your business.

Purchase the Create Your Breakthrough Year Online Workshop Here:

'Tis the season for abundance! | Abundance mindset tips for creative entrepreneurs

Did you realize that the advent season is the perfect opportunity to practice abundance? In a season of giving and receiving this is the PERFECT time for one of the most overlooked parts to living in abundance.

How an advent song taught me about abundance

Last week, I was washing dishes and humming one of my favorite Advent songs. When I got to the chorus, I think ALL the lightbulbs in my mind were going off at once! Let me share my breakthrough about abundance in advent

Prepare him room.

Prepare him room.

Let the King of glory enter in

~Sovereign Grace Ministries

All of a sudden, I realized what the song was saying.

Make room in order to receive!

What was the ONE thing Mary and Joseph heard during their attempts to find a place for Mary to labor and deliver her baby?

There’s no room

Do you know that this is one of the biggest reasons we deflect or miss abundance in our lives? There’s no room!

How I manifested my dream car and Chanel bag

And then I thought back to the times this past year when I manifested some of the biggest material goods of our lives.

When I manifested our car, I tried and tried to find one in time, but each time I would see a listing for the car we wanted, it would already be sold. It wasn’t until I cleaned out our garage and found a home for my old car that the new one came into our lives.

It was the same with my Chanel bag. I had dreamed of owning a Chanel bag. It became my reward for reaching my money goal in 2018.

As I neared my goal, I began looking for my dream handbag. But no matter what I found, there was always something a little off about the handbags on the market.

But, then I started preparing room for this very special handbag. I created a special place to store it between uses. I cleaned up my wallet, throwing out receipts, organizing my bills and cards, removing things I wasn’t using.

As soon as I did this, the bag I had in mind went on the market at a price I dreamed of. I was ready to receive-I had prepared room!

How to let go in order to receive

You know, it’s the same in our hearts, our businesses, our relationships, and our lives. Everything we want needs room. What if, as we prepared for Christmas this year, we made room first? Room for more love, more material goods, more time, more money, and more LIFE?

This past weekend, I did that in some really practical ways.

my abundant advent challenge

Earlier this week, I had told Stephen “I feel like we need to make space in our home this weekend. You know, like let’s donate or sell things we’re not using, clean up the garage and basement, and make sure everything has a home.”

I didn’t know why I felt that way at the time, but I trusted and planned to prepare room. If nothing else, I knew we were about to unwrap a bunch of presents and the thought of adding more “stuff” to our expanse of “stuff” already felt a little overwhelming. I had this urge to make space in our home for the new things coming.

So, I began preparing room. And the journey brought up some surprising things. Tune in for my next post, where I chronicle my personal abundant advent challenge and comment below-does this make you want to make room in your life?

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Your past is a shadow, not your prison | intuitive life lessons

This morning, I sat in my living room, playing with my 7 month old son, and feeling so happy. The sun was streaming into our room, he was happy, I had gotten a full night of sleep, and nostalgia as I remembered that today was pregnancy and infant loss awareness day.

Memories of my past as shadows

Two years ago, I was between miscarriages. I was about to get pregnant for the second time this time two years ago. I remember how shattered my world felt for a season. And as I sat playing with my perfect baby in the most beautiful home, surrounded by sunlight, I was filled with gratitude. I felt a twinge of sadness, but it was different this time. I didn’t own my sadness. I felt it come into my heart, like a stranger, then leave, like a whisp of steam.

At first I felt concerned-does this mean I’m pushing away those feelings? Or, maybe, just maybe, this is a sign that I’m healing.

As I thought about the fleeting visit from grief, I saw a beautiful shadow on my wall. The beautiful sunlight streaming had hit a vase of branches in my living room, creating a beautiful play of shadows dancing on my wall. The shadows danced for such a quick minute-I ran to get my camera and they had already changed!

And then it hit me. The reason that I loved the sunlight streaming into my living room was because of the beautiful shadows it created. You see, there’s beauty in the shadows, the difficult times in our lives. They are gone so quickly, but while they’re there, they help us see the light so much more.

Your past as a prison

The shadows don’t actually exist. They’re just a mirage-when we treat them as our current reality, we are choosing to live as a shadow. And our shadows become our prisons. Trade in the prison of your past for light.

Dear one reading this today, step back from the shadows of your life and take a look at them. Why are they there? They’re there to remind you that you’re alive. That YOU are standing in the sunlight.

So, turn and face the light.

You’ve been staring at the shadows for so long that you have forgotten what the sun on your face feels like. Turn your back on the shadows, not the light. For the shadows will come and go. But the light stays.

It’s time to turn and face the sun and let the shadows fall behind you.

When the memories of past hurts or dark seasons of grief come back to your life, don’t shove them away or greet them with fear. Welcome the grief like a long lost friend coming for dinner. She’s not staying. But she’s there for a reason. Sit with her for a minute, understand her, and ask her what she wants you to know.

Could it simply be that your past wants you to remember that it’s a shadow, not a prison?

Thank you to Bekah of Sankalpa Life Yoga and Wellness for the life-giving conversation that inspired this post. (If you aren’t following Bekah on instagram, do it now. You’ll feel her beauty and strength in each post.)

Overcoming client objections | How I overcame the "I can't afford you" objection and made an extra $15k

You get an inquiry in your inbox-YESSSSS, this is it! You hit it off big time in that first call or meeting and feel confident they will book with you.

Until…they don’t.

Of course it’s a jolting halt when you hear them say something like “Thanks for your time! We loved meeting you but have decided to go with someone else who’s a better fit for our budget.”

Wait...WHAT? Painful, right? But not permanent. Lemme show you some cool tools to help you overcome every price objection.


My Results

I’m going to share with you the very tips I’ve used to book clients, adding an extra $15k to my yearly income in 2017 that I would have otherwise walked away from. Income that other photographers DID walk away from. And income that got me major publicity and multiple referral bookings.

You see, I wasn’t afraid when a client had their Manhattan based attorney mark up my contract, hoping I’d agree to give away my copyright. I knew just what to do when a potential client told me their budget was $1,500 less than my starting rates…but they had my dream event. And I wasn’t afraid when a client told me they were deciding between me and one other photographer.

And that’s why I made an extra $15,000 last year. I mean...would you like an extra $15k this year? Read on:


What’s an objection?

Quite simply, an objection is something that prevents clients from booking with you. Sometimes they let you know…often times they don’t. That’s normal and shouldn’t feel frustrating. Today, we’re specifically talking about clients who might not book with you because you’re out of their budget. How do you turn them around into paying clients?

Uncover pricing objections early

This might seem kinda obvious, but, sometimes we forget that finding objections is on US not the client. So, asking the right questions is key to finding the objections you can then overcome.You can’t deal with an objection if you haven’t asked what they are. Don’t let fear hold you back-ask the questions!

Here are 3 valuable questions to ask to uncover your clients’ objections:

Are all the decision makers on this call right now? (if not...you’re not going to book them!)

Is there any reason you wouldn’t be able to book with me right now?

What would make this offer work for you?

Understand what “I can’t afford it really means

When a client says they can’t afford your offer, it’s pretty rare that that’s the real issue. That’s just what they think you might understand. Yeah, money may be at play, but underneath of that, clients often have 2 big needs you’d have to meet in order to book:

Budget = a fear of intimacy

in SO MANY cases, the excuse “i can’t afford it,” is covering up your clients fear of intimacy. Making a serious investment means they’re showing up for their biggest dreams. They’re allowing someone in, and they’re putting a stake in the ground and saying “hey, I am so worth it!”

If your client is struggling with a fear of intimacy, use the “ask why 5 times” method (don’t know what that is? Shoot me an email and I’ll break it down) and prepare to touch on something emotional. Give them permission to feel what they need to feel, affirm that you can give them the important thing they are looking for, and then move into the action step of booking.

Does your offer meet their basic needs?

A few years ago, I was shopping for a computer. I was seriously considering switching from apple to windows and had someone tell me about each system.

The person who told me about the Windows system overloaded me with features. Fancy things the computer could do, bells and whistles. I was impressed, for sure. But want to know why I didn’t buy a windows based system? Because they didn’t answer my one question:

How do I move between desktop screens? Suuuuuuuch a simple question, right? And it was the exact question that lost that person the sale. Why?

He didn’t take care of my actual needs AND he overcomplicated things.

Are you doing this with your clients?

The 6 core human needs and your offer

Creating an offer that actually meets your clients needs is the starting place for any offer. The shiny things come afterward.

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Tony Robbins talks about 6 core needs we all have. Understanding these needs will help you know how to tailor your offer to your clients.

Take time to listen to your clients, try to identify their biggest needs from the sliding scale below, and find ways to meet those needs.

Do they need certainty?

Show them a gallery from their venue, show them results you’ve gotten someone, show them an outline of how you’d work together, get that engagement session on the calendar.

Do they need love & connection?

Send them tips/tricks you saw on their favorite blog “just because you were thinking about them.” Send them a beautiful gift, a handwritten card, etc. Find a way to show them you care, you understand, and you are there for them.

Do they need Growth?

Share your process with them-invite them in and create a collaborative atmosphere that nurtures their growth. Instead of telling them your ideas, ask for theirs. And keep reminding them of the growth they’re experiencing because of your work together. Look for ways to track and measure that growth and find ways to celebrate it with that person.

Price objections are a mirror for your inner beliefs about money

Here’s one of the most powerful take aways of this whole article: your price objections could simply be a MIRROR for how much you’re saying “I can’t afford it.”

This feels kinda hard to admit, but when I’m hearing a lot of money objections in my business, chances are, it’s because I’m saying it a lot.

Wait...what??

Yeah! Your outer world simply mirrors your inner world! And until you take radical responsibility for your inner world, you’ll be a victim to your outer world.

Here’s the thing-Money is just energy. It goes where it’s wanted and welcomed. And it doesn’t go where it’s neglected and resented. Chances are, those bummer words from a potential client are the universe simply echoing your OWN words back at you!

Chances are, you’re in a place where you feel stuck in your business. You need help getting unstuck, getting inspired, getting unafraid. But you don’t know how you’d pay for it, so you say “I can’t afford it,” “it's out of my budget,” or “I can’t make the numbers work.”

It’s such a hard place to be in-to feel like you know what you need but can’t have it. You’re NOT alone if you feel that way. And there is a solution.

Are you ready for the solution?

You need to go spend money on something you’ve either told yourself or been told was too expensive. This is especially powerful if you can connect with something you were told you couldn’t have due to money when you were between the ages of 0-7 years old.

I’ll be sharing how I did this exact thing over on instagram stories and how it helped my business today on instagram stories.

Chances are, you’ll find that breaking that spending ceiling in a strategic, intentional, and mindful way will bring clients in faster afterward.




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