The other day I was out running a few errands and had a small life experience that taught me a big lesson. Often, we’re rushing through our lives and miss these golden nuggets of wisdom found in our everyday. I’ve reshaped my life to really take note of these lessons and learning opportunities and I’ve grown so much because of this!
Today, I want to share with you about the time that I wanted to take the long way home. This is a very simple story, but don’t miss the value it holds.
The other day, while picking up my groceries (does ANYONE else order groceries online?? Such a game changer!!) I suddenly wanted to drive home the long way home. I wanted to feel free, like I could just drive and feel the sun shining.
It would totally make more sense to drive the shortest route home, right? Often, in that moment, we just make a decision and move on. But I sat for a minute, learning HOW I make decisions.
This learning process is so valuable to my business! I’ll break down why below.
What to do with your intuition
Our intuition is like a gut desire. It’s something we want, that may not always make sense. While I personally feel that we need to trust our intuition way more than most of us do, I think how we treat our intuitive side is really important to our business growth.
Back to my story: What happened when I had that little gut desire? I have two simple options, right? Take the idea, or leave it. More importantly, however, is how I treat myself as I make the decision
Showing self-kindness in decision making
Often, when our intuitive side speaks up, our logical minds jump in and list all the reasons we shouldn’t do the intuitive thing, like taking the long way home:
“don't make that choice”,
“that's a dumb idea”,
or “we're super busy right now and don’t have time to do this impulsive thing”.
Your brain is made to keep you safe, so the objections will ALWAYS come up. But the way that we object to our intuition is important. And that's what I want to spend a moment on.
Listen to yourself and how you talk to yourself. This is something that happens in a split second. It happens so fast that we don't even slow down to notice the way our voice sounds when we object to all of our options.
How to reject your intuition with self-kindness
Rejecting the idea can have two forms. It can sound like, “that doesn't work for me right now,” which is just a no-drama decision. That’s an idea, it exists. I’m choosing a different one. No problems! If this was how we made all our decisions, that would be AWESOME! But…it’s not.
Sometimes we are our own worst enemies and, when our intuition has something to say, we talk really unkindly to ourselves. If you're like me and you have an intuitive idea come up you might say things like, “that's stupid”, “that's dumb,” essentially, berating or belittling the very imagination that we use as creative entrepreneurs.
Here is the problem with rejecting your intuitive desires in this way.
Why is trusting your intuition important to your business?
What we don't realize is that our subconscious minds don't know the difference between perceived and real. So when we say things in our heads like: “that idea is stupid” or “that idea is dumb”. Our brains don't know the difference. Our brains don't subconsciously understand what an idea is. And it just hears “you're dumb”, it applies it to you as a person.
Are you saying things to yourself that you would never say to anyone else? Would you say “you’re so stupid!” to your partner or child?? Probably not. So why are willing to talk like that to ourselves?
When we first jump in we say to ourselves, “Don't do that, that's stupid”. Our brains do assimilate that and say, “Oh, I believe I am stupid”. Because you're the thinker of your thoughts and if you haven't separated those two yet, your brain just thinks that you are your thoughts.
So, I had this just quick intuitive moment, wanting to take the long way home. I just wanted to drive a certain way. I want to play the music loud. I want to feel the sun, feel the breeze, that's what I wanted for a split second. In that moment I felt that voice come up. And then I actively said, “That's not a kind way to talk to myself”. And then from there I actually opted to accept the idea and drive the longer way home because it's not that big of a deal. Right?
Two reactions to our ideas:
There are also two ways we can, except our ideas. Sometimes we call them impulsive ideas. But, these ideas are intuitive.
Reaction #1: self-kindness and acceptance
I can accept the ideas from a place of feeling really light and expansive, from a place of excitement. This reaction is ideal - to accept our intuitive ideas from a light, expansive, energetic place.
We're all energetic beings and having a higher energetic frequency is important. So, that's how I accepted this idea while I was driving. However, there has been a time in the past where I accepted my ideas in a very negative way and here's what that looked like for me.
Reaction #2: self judgment
I would get this impulsive, intuitive idea, and immediately give in from a place of self-judgment. So, in that moment I would do something I felt like would make me happy. And then if it did not make me happy, or I did not get the result I wanted, I would have a negative response.
I would then sit there - if you can envision with me: my intuitive mind is one persona and my logical mind is another persona. So my logical mind would be very resentful toward my intuitive mind and that logical mind would be sitting there shaming me. My logical mind would be saying, “see I gave you what you want and look what happened.”
Being Kind to Yourself in 3 Steps
I want to share with you the three steps that I have found to get myself in the right headspace when these ideas pop up in my mind.
Be Kind Step #1
First of all when you get an intuitive idea, I would encourage you to honor that a lot more than you probably do. Not because the idea means something, but because you deserve to honor these little desires in yourself, because of their connection to bigger desires. Honestly, when we do little things here and there in our day to delight ourselves and to increase our happiness we actually can serve from a better place in our lives and businesses.
Be Kind Step #2
The second thing to do is, notice how you react to those ideas when they come up. Are you accepting these ideas or rejecting them? Noting this reaction helps you to ask more questons of yourself to be able to respond properly.
Be Kind Step #3
Then third, how are you accepting or rejecting those ideas? Are you accepting them from a place of abundance and freedom, of lightness and expansive feelings? Or are you accepting them, but you're attaching this heavy weight of shame, guilt and resentment?
Are you saying, “I will give you what you want, but if this doesn't work out, I'm holding this against you”. Are you rejecting the idea from this place of calling yourself names and being unkind or are you rejecting the idea with a sense of non attachment? Are you giving yourself a sense that your idea doesn't have any meaning? Are you telling yourself, “I'm okay, I'm happy as I am and I don't need anything else to make me even happier.”?
Where have you focused your mindset?
The next time that you make those decisions, know that you are making this decision either to accept or reject your intuitive ideas. In the midst of making that decision, remember that how you do it says a lot about your mindset and what you believe about yourself. As you're serving in your business, and as you're living your life, just know that the way you live your life, the way you speak to yourself, the way you speak to others, all have an impact on how you impact others.
From my heart to yours, I just want you to know that your impact is special. You deserve to make that impact and you deserve to have a business that actually aligns with an impact. Having a business isn't just to get into something that makes money, and then look around at what everyone else is doing and realize you can make more money and keep repeating that cycle of leveling up. It's not a ladder. You are meant to create an impact. And I believe income follows impact.
So, I want to encourage you today to first of all, reconnect with your impact. And then second, I want you to, listen to how you talk to yourself today and be kind yourself. Don't be kinder to other people who you don't know, than you would be to yourself, be your own biggest fan. Be your own cheerleader. We spend far too much time as our own worst enemies.