“here’s what we know, “ my dear friend shared.
“our money problems are never about money.”
And as she said it….I felt so woke to this truth that things started shifting for me.
You see, after a two month period of feeling all kinds of scarcity and not really knowing what to do about it, I had a breakthrough a few weeks ago that cracked me wide open, rocked my money mindset and I’m ready to share. Here’s what I learned about my money mindset-if this resonates with you, leave me a comment and tell me what you learned.
Money beliefs are never really about money.
I was so concerned about my money when my fears about not having enough had very little to do with money at all. One of the biggest reframes I made during my breakthrough was accepting that money fears aren’t about money. Let me share what I mean:
Step 1: Observing my response to money talk
I was recently listening to a podcast and the guest talked about how she loved the fact that money gave her choices. As I heard this, I noticed that I immediately felt a stress response in my body from this statement. I felt jittery, started breathing faster, eyes darting around. What was happening?
Step 2: digging into my entry-level belief
As I observed myself in response to this statement that money gives us choices, I realized that what I really feared was choice. I felt stressed and overwhelmed to the max and more choices?
No. Shut it down.
I felt overwhelmed managing what I already had ad was resisting my own ability to receive more and circulate wealth because I was afraid it would bring me increased need to make decisions. That felt like more than I could wrap my brain around in that moment.
Often, our beliefs start at an entry-point, something that’s easy for us to observe or understand…but that’s not where the beliefs end. They drive down deep and I’m fully committed to digging down into a belief once I know about it.
So…this isn’t where the breakthrough ends, this is where it begins. Let’s keep going!
Step 3: tracing the belief back
When I noticed that I felt overwhelmed and resistant to making choices, I asked myself why-I mean, where would this belief come from and where did it begin?
As I dug down I learned some things about myself-and that’s the beauty of creating breakthroughs-you learn about yourself and you heal, let go, forgive, and love parts of yourself and your story that you couldn’t previously.
Step 4: uncovering where the belief began
Are you ready to dig deep? Here’s what I learned-this is really raw, so I’d love your compassion and tenderness on the next section of this post:
When I got down to the root of this overwhelm around choices, I realized that, in childhood, I would flit from activity to activity, without picking up my toys. I was happy and playing.
But me not picking up my toys became a problem-my parents were unhappy with me when I didn’t pick up…but as a very small child,I didn’t understand the topics of rules, responsibilities, or consequences. All that I knew was that I had been happy and playing and I made people I cared about unhappy afterward.
So…at a very young age, I started feeling stressed about playing-I started avoiding it and feeling scared to make decisions about what to play with, thinking through what the consequences might be if I forgot or got wrapped up in a happy oblivion of child play.
I recently felt stressed about playing with my son, Ansel, and wondered why…as I had my money mindset breakthrough, I realized why I felt stressed. Playing wasn’t fun because I was always worried I was “doing it right.”
This really is a raw, tender thing to share…but I want you to see with full clarity how powerful and essential breakthrough’s are
Our beliefs and wounds start when we’re little, when we observe and can’t reject the beliefs of those we are around a lot. And they often form from us not fully understanding our circumstances. It wasn’t my responsibility to maintain someone else’ happiness…but I made it my responsibility as a small child.
And here’s the thing about these deep-seated beliefs. They exist in all of us. We literally form our beliefs from misunderstandings, wounds, and childish problem solving and then we KEEP them all our lives unless we fully commit to breaking through them.
Step 5: releasing and reframing
Ths is where I chose to stop, reframing my beliefs to fully empower me as an adult:
I changed these beliefs:
When I move too fast, I get punished
When I’m happy, I make someone else sad
If I overthink things and procrastinate, I can put off negative consequences.
To these:
I quickly and effortlessly make empowered decisions
I move at the pace I desire
My happiness does not take away from the happiness of those I love
I can face decisions head on because I know there is nothing to fear.
I stand in my power, not my wounds.
Mindset work is the foundational work to us getting our message and impact out into the world.
But it reminded me just how important my work is in the world. I DO know how to guide myself on my breakthrough journey. I DO know how to dig in, create space, ask powerful questions, reframe, and heal.
But 98% of the population doesn’t. And 98% of the population is operating in this world as children protecting themselves from hurts.
It doesn’t have to be this way. Our beliefs are never meant to be permanent. Outgrowing them can be a natural process of adulthood. But we have to first accept where our beliefs came from in order to understand why creating breakthroughs are so valuable to our mental, emotional, and personal health and success.
You can change. It’s okay to let go of beliefs that no longer fit.
So what happened after my breakthrough?
Naturally, you're probably wondering-”if you had a money mindset breakthrough…did it impact your money at all??” Lemme share what this looks like in realtime:
As I was upgrading my money mindset, I started reframing my thoughts in every experience. At the grocery store, I was accidentally charged for the order ahead of me, to the tune of an extra $112.48. I would have previously freaked out inside.
Instead, as I reframed, I got my refund…and noticed, they rounded up, giving me $0.52 that wasn’t mine.
I found the abundance in that random $0.52.
A few days later, I got a few random refunds on my credit card-I don’t know why, but I celebrated an unexpected $18.12.
I started managing my finances with power and clarity, not avoidance and victimhood. I found subscriptions I could cancel, ways to receive money for services not rendered, and enjoyed the awareness I was operating in! It felt good to know I was in charge and knew what was coming.
My inboxes began filling back up with people interested in hiring me.
Each day, as I look for signs of empowered abundance all around me…the numbers in my accounts grow. Where I focus my attention, growth happens!
I also started breaking down decisions differently, choosing ease and flow instead of stress and overthinking. I noticed that I stopped feeling incapable of making decisions and the more that happened the more I felt results shaking loose in my business where before it felt gridlocked.
So today, as you learn about your own thoughts around money, ask yourself
“where do I see abundance around me? Where’s the evidence of it right in front of me?”
Tell me-is it helpful for me to share my personal experience like this? Comment below and tell me how this helped you.
