I want to encourage you with this today, and encourage you to give yourself permission to tap into your intuition and to let your intuition and let your business really kind of fill into the space of your purpose. Remember that you purpose can change with you as you grow and change as a person. I am a different person now than I was in my twenties. I’ve evolved, I’ve changed, I’ve grown as a human, as a woman, and my life experiences have helped to shape my journey. You will grow and change, and your purpose may change a bit as time goes on, but remember that those experiences just aid you in your journey. Checking in with yourself and evaluating where your purpose is and where your focus should be helps to keep that cognitive dissonance from welling up inside of you.
I do not know when the light will turn green, but I know it will, and I know when it does I will accelerate. Do you? Are you doing the work in your business now that will allow you to accelerate when the light turns green for you, this does create a compounding effect. Don’t get stuck in feeling like you can’t see the success yet, you know that you are doing the work under the surface, it will show up in success in the future, when the light turns green.
You do not want to feel bad. You don’t want to feel unwanted. You don’t want to feel like a failure. You don’t want to feel angry. You don’t want to feel frustrated. Don’t avoid what you are feeling It is time to let things live in you and work themselves out so that you can be a whole person running your business, living your life, being a wife, a sister, a mother and whatever your roles are. You can do it!
A few months ago I was getting into a really great diet routine, I was working out regularly and just feeling really good. This change and effort was coming from a place aligned with my identity, (where we always create lasting change).
I was so excited, and then I got sick, and not just me, our whole family. My 12 month old son was up in the middle of the night throwing up and it was just terrible. We were all really weak, sick, and tired. The sad thing is that we didn’t only get sick the one time. We got sick the first time, got a little break just in time to have my son’s birthday party. We made the mistake of having 18 people stay with us and then we were sick all over again.
While I was in the process of getting over my stomach bug the second time, I found myself getting discouraged. I was discouraged because I was thinking about all of the things that I was excited for in my health, and my business. As I was laying in bed recovering, trying so hard not to throw up the cracker that I just ate, I thought of something interesting. What you resist persists.
How do we resist?
What I mean by that is the more we hold things at arm’s length and try to hold things off, the more those things persist in our lives. Now what we may not be thinking of is the fact that when we resist things we’re avoiding them. We are doing our best to keep them away from us. There are things in our lives that we hold at bay, whether it is some kind of outcome, social situation, money situation, or really anything.
What we do not realize is that we are using a whole lot of effort to hold that thing off. So, for example let's say that we want to hold off debt in our lives. What are we actually focusing on? We are focused on the debt itself. We do not focus on the abundance in our life right now. Right?
What I found in my season of illness and our household getting sick over and over again is that the more I thought about how sick I was and that I didn’t have time for this, the longer that sickness persisted. I kept thinking to myself how awful this season of life was that we were going through, I became frustrated because I wasn’t feeling better as quickly as I thought I should. The more I focused on that, the longer the sickness went on. I am not saying that it went on only because I was focused on that, but just keep in mind the reality that what we resist persists.
What resisting looks like
These are a few examples of things that I used to do in regards to resisting. In another business of mine I spent a year where I was focused on getting reviews for that business. I saw another business owner doing it and I felt like I needed to get really good reviews also. But I also thought I can’t get any bad reviews and I inwardly begged that nobody would leave me a bad review. I kept focusing on creating this resistance, like I was holding the door closed on someone who is trying to get in. That is what resistance feels like.
During that year I was so focused on not getting any bad reviews, which created resistance. I was trying so hard to hold off the bad reviews on our 6-7 year old business. As I look back, can you guess which year we did get one bad review? Your right! It was the year that I placed all my energy and focus on the very thing that I didn’t want.
Resistance can also feel like driving a car. You have a foot on the gas, but you also have your emergency brake on. You can still drive your car with the emergency brake on, but it is really difficult and will eventually severely damage your car.
Take a look at yourself
I want to encourage you to take a look at your life and see if there is something that you can easily identify that you are avoiding. Something that you are kind of trying to keep out by holding the door closed as it tries to push its way in. Like an annoying little brother who would be trying to get into a room and I would be fighting and holding the door closed because he was annoying me. If you have something like that in your life, it isn’t necessarily bad news for you, but you should know that it is really just going to keep coming up for you.
Putting all of that time and effort into focusing on holding the door closed means that all of your strength and energy is invested into the very thing that you do not want. This means that you are probably going to still end up getting the result that you don’t really want.
You may be asking now, how do we change that? Here are a few quick tips for you that can help:
Tip Number 1
Start visualizing what you do want instead of what you do not want.
Stay focused on what you want, and do not allow yourself to get distracted by the things that you don’t want.
Tip Number 2
Check on your support system.
Do you have a support system? Does your support system understand how lonely entrepreneurship can be? Does your support system see how sometimes you are sitting in a room all by yourself? How your doing things against all the obstacles that come up, how you are taking risks, and how money can be scary and you may not know when your paycheck is going to come in, or even how it is going to come in? Do they get it? If they don’t, look for a support system that specifically understands the unique and difficult challenges of entrepreneurship.
Tip Number 3
Get out your journal.
You may be thinking, “Oh my word, another journaling person.” No, journaling scientifically does things in our brains that moves out beliefs from one portion of our brain to the other and then out. This is not a one and done situation, you have to be regularly writing out your thoughts. Our limiting beliefs, and our negative thoughts don’t have to just stay inside of our brains. We can take action and move them out by writing.
Rewiring for success
I often take my clients through a four week process where we spend time rewiring our brains for success. Because the reality of all of this is that our brains are designed to keep us safe, and to keep us away from danger. Being entrepreneurs is hard on our brains because most of the things that we need to act on to succeed are way outside of our brains comfort zone.
We have so many responsibilities, we are the ones who work out our taxes and our business expenses. We are the ones who have to constantly be innovating. If we don’t innovate, no one else will, if we don’t innovate no one disapproves. But most importantly, if we do not innovate, our business dies.
All of that brings me to the point that I am really trying to focus on. You need to shift some things in order to stop all of the resisting in your life. My point is that what you resist persists, so if we stop resisting all of the things in our lives, then we naturally have to create a state of allowing. This is the place that caused me to feel a little uncomfortable. For me it was simply that I was sick and I would stay that way for a little while, until both I and my body as a whole was feeling better.
Instead of holding off, or feeling depressed or angry, what if we just sat with our feelings for a little while? What would that ultimately change? What space would that blow open inside of your heart? What creativity might start flowing? This conversation is so important to have with yourself.
For me this conversation looks a little like this. Yes I am sick. But instead of resisting that because it keeps persisting, I am going to accept it and allow it and recognize that I am still okay if nothing changes as quickly as I would like.
I am seeing alot of people right now focusing on change and strategy in their businesses. I am seeing articles like - Three quick tips that you do to market your business , or Three ways that you can create passive income. But you know the reality is that none of those things matter. If your brain is hardwired for failure, if it is hardwired to keep you limited and safe, you are going to be failing. All of those skills and strategies are like putting a bandaid on a wound that requires surgery. Does that method make any sense? No. What first needs to happen is you need to rewrite your beliefs, and rewire your brains.
Our brains filtration system
Our brains have something inside them called the Reticular Activating System. This is essentially our filter system. The world around causes us to receive way too much data into our brain at any one time, so our brains are made with a filter system. How our brains filter that data is based on what we believe. Our brains will look at what we believe - which is thought plus emotion repeated over and over and over again. Then our brains will take that and say, “I’ll just automate that belief and I’ll bring in everything that lines up with that belief and I will filter out anything that doesn’t.”
We spend so much of our time using our brains in their default setting, when our brains are meant to be our operating system that we program with our specifications, what we need. I believe that God has given us these beautiful brains and we don’t even invest any time in learning how to use them. All too often we let the outside circumstances dictate how we feel. However we need to remember that we create change from the inside out, like we are the thermostat. We set the temperature and it stays at that temperature no matter what the temperature is outside. We should be like a thermostat, not going up or down depending on the temperature that is around us. We set the temperature because we are working from the inside out.
Two important things to remember as you are developing your mindset in our business, or even if you are going through something in your life. What you resist persists, and Set the temperature for your own success. Don’t forget what can happen if you simply sit in the moment with your circumstances and embrace where you are at. You will not be disappointed with the results.
What we don’t realize in these situations is that our brains want to keep us from jumping off the edge of a metaphorical cliff. Our brains are created to help to keep us safe, but in these instances this safety net is self sabotage. What our brains don’t realize is that we CAN jump off the edge of that cliff, because we have always had wings.
From my heart to yours, I just want you to know that your impact is special. You deserve to make that impact and you deserve to have a business that actually aligns with an impact…Don't be kinder to other people who you don't know, than you would be to yourself, be your own biggest fan. Be your own cheerleader. We spend far too much time as our own worst enemies.
I’ve been on quite the mindset journey over the past several years-maybe you’ve been around to see my transformation firsthand. If you haven’t, lemme break it down for ya:
I used to live with a mindset that success is a fixed trait you’re born with. I could only do things that I knew I’d be 100% successful at or I’d have to live with the confirmation that I was a failure.
I also lived with a crippling belief that everything I needed and wanted was outside myself. It was not for me. And it was a limited quantity that I had to get to before someone else. You might call that competitive, but that’s not really true. It’s scarcity. Scarcity is the belief that everything you want or need is in a limited quantity and you either have to get to it first or you completely miss out because someone else got your resource first. It’s most prevalent in people’s beliefs around money, but it really relates to EVERYTHING in life!
Scarcity is a completely sucky way to live. But it’s not permanent. I’ve been on a transformational journey of finding abundance in my life and now my norm is abundant living and thinking. An abundance mindset believes that there’s enough for everyone, that new ideas, clients, money, and life is always being created, and that everything we need is on it’s way to us already.
But, sometimes a scarcity mindset can take over and blindside me. It took some time, but now I know the signs to look for. Here are mine. Wanna know my biggest signs of a scarcity mindset?
7 signs of a Scarcity Mindset
Scarcity Mindset Sign #1: I budget and look for ways to cut back in our life
While budgeting is a super helpful tool for household management, I notice myself shrinking back from financial hurdles as I cut out things we enjoy to make room for bills. I’m letting the problem be bigger than me.
Scarcity Mindset Sign #2: I overspend
Ironically enough, after I spend time cutting back, it’s almost uncanny what happens next: I overspend. I get overwhelmed by the thoughts of a joyless, bill-filled budget and...give up. All of a sudden my well planned, on-budget grocery list goes out the window and I’m buying treats and indulgences instead, mourning the loss of all things fun and lovely in life. Yeah...I can be a little dramatic at times.
Scarcity Mindset Sign #3: I try to fix past wrongs
As soon as I notice I’m spending my time trying to fix past wrongs, I know I’m living in scarcity. I can’t let the past rest and I need to figure out what I wish I would have said, plan for how to prove myself right, or even just dream up alternative endings to a situation that’s done. What’s the problem? I can’t actually go back and change anything, so I’m believing the situation I want to fix wasn’t enough. Instead of learning from it, I’m trying to change it.
Scarcity Mindset Sign #4: I complain easily (rant, vent, whatever you wanna call it)
This one is pretty self explanatory, but when I’m in a scarcity-driven state, I don’t just make a complaint, I complain about everything! From believing every driver on the road is dumb, to the number of emails i get or don’t get, to not having anything to eat or wear or do or, the only thing I can see is unhappiness. Literally everything becomes fair game for complaining. The only abundance in my life at that point is my negative point of view.
Scarcity Mindset Sign #5: Everything rubs me the wrong way
I notice that when I don’t feel like I am enough or that I have enough, everyone irritates me. No one can do anything right. Every request is a major inconvenience, and I’m constantly the victim to other’s choices. Basically, if this is you, know that the people choosing to stick by you are probably wishing it were easier to do so right now.
Scarcity Mindset Sign #6: I ask the wrong questions
I ask myself questions like “how many bookings do I still need?” “should I cut back my paycheck if we don’t book enough?” “why aren’t people booking me?” and “where is our money going?” You can probably guess what I’m going to say about these questions: They’re the WRONG questions to ask yourself!
Scarcity Mindset Sign #7: I answer emails or scroll on social media first thing in the morning
If I’m clearing my inbox, strategically commenting on other’s social posts, what’s the problem? Aren’t those smart things to do? No. Not first thing in the morning. I’m starting the day believing that my time belongs to someone else. I’m living under the tyranny of the urgent and I’m ultimately spending my entire day spinning wheels instead of moving my business forward. A few minutes answer emails or scrolling completely shifts my mindset.
Where’s my scarcity mindset coming from?
A place of not-enoughness. And how can I tell? Often, I hold this scarcity in my body in the form of physical symptoms I don’t pay attention to. If I stop, take deep breaths, and repeat my favorite phrase “I am enough. I have enough” over and over, I notice my jaw relaxed (I didn’t even know I was clenching it!), my heartrate slows noticeably (what? My heart was thumping in my chest and I honestly had no clue?) my headache begins to ease and muscles begin to relax in my back and hips (yeah, I carry tension in my hips. That’s not a thing I ever realized I’d put out there!)
So, if you’re like me and find yourself living in scarcity in one of these common ways, you can recognize that “I’m enough and I have enough.” But how do you then begin welcoming an abundance driven mindset back into your life? Tune in for my next post, where I break down my top ways to kick out scarcity and welcome and abundance mindset to thrive in my life.
Want to learn how to completely change your mindset?
Join the Create Your Breakthrough Year workshop and learn how to effect change at every level so you can gain momentum, create clarity, and nurture growth in your life and business.
Because if you don’t already have those things, you’re probably living in scarcity and holding off the very growth you want in your business.
Purchase the Create Your Breakthrough Year Online Workshop Here:
Did you realize that the advent season is the perfect opportunity to practice abundance? In a season of giving and receiving this is the PERFECT time for one of the most overlooked parts to living in abundance.
How an advent song taught me about abundance
Last week, I was washing dishes and humming one of my favorite Advent songs. When I got to the chorus, I think ALL the lightbulbs in my mind were going off at once! Let me share my breakthrough about abundance in advent
Prepare him room.
Prepare him room.
Let the King of glory enter in
~Sovereign Grace Ministries
All of a sudden, I realized what the song was saying.
Make room in order to receive!
What was the ONE thing Mary and Joseph heard during their attempts to find a place for Mary to labor and deliver her baby?
There’s no room
Do you know that this is one of the biggest reasons we deflect or miss abundance in our lives? There’s no room!
How I manifested my dream car and Chanel bag
And then I thought back to the times this past year when I manifested some of the biggest material goods of our lives.
When I manifested our car, I tried and tried to find one in time, but each time I would see a listing for the car we wanted, it would already be sold. It wasn’t until I cleaned out our garage and found a home for my old car that the new one came into our lives.
It was the same with my Chanel bag. I had dreamed of owning a Chanel bag. It became my reward for reaching my money goal in 2018.
As I neared my goal, I began looking for my dream handbag. But no matter what I found, there was always something a little off about the handbags on the market.
But, then I started preparing room for this very special handbag. I created a special place to store it between uses. I cleaned up my wallet, throwing out receipts, organizing my bills and cards, removing things I wasn’t using.
As soon as I did this, the bag I had in mind went on the market at a price I dreamed of. I was ready to receive-I had prepared room!
How to let go in order to receive
You know, it’s the same in our hearts, our businesses, our relationships, and our lives. Everything we want needs room. What if, as we prepared for Christmas this year, we made room first? Room for more love, more material goods, more time, more money, and more LIFE?
This past weekend, I did that in some really practical ways.
my abundant advent challenge
Earlier this week, I had told Stephen “I feel like we need to make space in our home this weekend. You know, like let’s donate or sell things we’re not using, clean up the garage and basement, and make sure everything has a home.”
I didn’t know why I felt that way at the time, but I trusted and planned to prepare room. If nothing else, I knew we were about to unwrap a bunch of presents and the thought of adding more “stuff” to our expanse of “stuff” already felt a little overwhelming. I had this urge to make space in our home for the new things coming.
So, I began preparing room. And the journey brought up some surprising things. Tune in for my next post, where I chronicle my personal abundant advent challenge and comment below-does this make you want to make room in your life?
If there’s one thing that holds photographers and creative entrepreneurs back from stepping into the dream they have for their business, it’s fear. From worry all the way to anxiety, Fear has a pretty big spectrum…but a pretty similar end result-inaction. Safety. And dreams remaining dreams. Isn’t that kinda sad to think about?
So, dreamer. Are you reader to become a doer? The first step is to learn to spot fear in your life. Here are 6 of the most common manifestations of fear-do any stand out to you?
How to recognize fear in YOUR life and business
I’m listing the 6 most common forms of fear below. Oddly enough-they come in pairs-either because one escalates into another (i.e.-worry/anxiety; avoidance/self-sabotage) OR because they are complimentary fears (safety mechanisms/defense mechanisms)
Fear of the unknown takes a toll on your physical body. Letting your mind run wild in the realm of the unknown is not what your beautiful brain was meant for! And it’s gonna show in your physical body.
From tooth grinding and headaches, to ulcers and acid reflux, your body wasn’t meant to live in a chronic state of worry. While you can technically live with these symptoms IF they stay at this level…chances are they will progress into:
Worry manifesting itself in our physical bodies with symptoms that delve into panic reactions. When you struggle with anxiety, your body is literally pumping the breaks to keep you out of the situations that cause you this anxiety.
Our bodies move into the fight or flight stage in anxiety and amp up physical symptoms to breathing issues, muscle tightening, erratic behavior, and more. These are symptoms you can no longer live with. Something needs to change immediately when you’re experiencing anxiety symptoms.
Sound’s fun, right? Let’s talk about a different side of fear:
Quite simply, avoidance is that person who, when they hear anything that stresses them out, plugs their ears and sings “lalalalalalala!” until it stops. You know you’ve seen a grown adult do this! This is fear. Avoiding stressors comes from a belief that what you fear must be avoided. Bad things happen when you feel fear, so avoid it, sometimes at all costs.
This person is likely the one changing the subject abruptly at the dinner table, likes to please people and can’t afford to have someone upset with them.
Paired with avoidance is self-sabotage and self-destructive behaviors. It’s a “walk the plank” mentality when you realize you have to face something stressful or fearful. Since you believe you can’t handle the stress, when you realize you have no choice but to face it, you take the approach that you’re about to go down in flames. You often find yourself doing the very things you know you shouldn’t, wondering “whyyyyyyy am I doing/saying this??”
Have you seen a small child walk over to a hot stove, touch it and cry? My immediate thought is “oof, that’s a tough way to learn a lesson!” But how do you feel if the child, still crying, goes and touches the stove again? I’m thinking in my head “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, YOU KNOW IT’S GOING TO HURT YOU!” That’s how self-sabotage looks from the outside in.
From messing up a business deal, triggering an argument when you were happy with your spouse, coworker, or business partner, to forgetting equipment for a job, etc. the “I’ll probably just mess it up” mindset is basically predicting that you WILL.
Just like a child sucking his thumb or reach for his favorite stuffed animal to help him fall asleep, we as adults can develop soothing behaviors to help us feel safe again when we’re scared. They’re not entirely bad-in fact, knowing how to take care of yourself when you are feeling scared is a key piece of self care.
Sometimes we get pushed headlong into the scary stuff before we’ve had space to see how we handle it and we grasp and something that soothes a base human need. The danger that often follows coping mechanisms is that when we learn to cope with something stressful or scary, we start to retreat. We lower our tolerance for stress or scary stuff and reach for a coping mechanism faster with each stress trigger.
It’s pretty common to find that coping leads to addictive or highly patterned behaviors. Some common ones include spending money, disordered eating (this is a big one for us women), and sexual issues, to addictive substances or workaholic tendencies.These behaviors make you feel safe when you otherwise felt vulnerable or scared.
While coping mechanisms are the flight side of dealing with fear, defense mechanisms are the fight side. You know you’re can’t run from it. So you prepare for battle.
Defense mechanisms are ways in which you defend or protect yourself from difficult situations-these situations can be as simple as unwanted situations all the way to trauma triggers.
If you’re living in a place of defense mechanisms, you’re probably thinking through worst case scenarios, practicing responses, protecting your work, or even picking a fight so you can lay someone open with harsh words or criticism.
Of all the behaviors, defensive, protective behavior is by far the most painful to others. Like a wounded animal, a defensive person will snap and bite at you if you get too close to their pain. This person needs some pretty significant help and needs you to be extra careful around them lest you get hurt in the process.
*I want to be sensitive to the fact that fear often has a reason for living in you. And sometimes that reason is rooted in real, painful life circumstances. If that’s you, I just want to take a moment to honor you and let you know that you didn’t deserve the trauma you experienced. You are so worthy of healing and you are so worthy of having support. You are beautiful and brave.*
What does fear sound like?
Fear often starts with two little words- “what if?” Those words mean you’re living in a potential reality. And quite frankly, if you don’t learn to let go of these thoughts, it will become your actual reality. Why? Like attracts like. In this case? Worry attracts in more things to worry about.
“what if this fails?” (remember that fixed mindset stuff from some of my early blog posts?”
“what if I can’t?”
“I know what’s going to happen if…”
“I need to protect my self…”
“just in case (X) happens, I’m going to…”
“I’ll probably just mess it up.”
“What if they think…?”
“I’m not cut out for this”
We all experience fear. And we all deal with it the best we know how-after all, we’re all just doing the best we can.
We may deal with fear in the form of worry or even anxiety, or we might avoid fear, trying to stay in our happy place until we’re forced to face our fears and then we self-sabotage, bringing our fears to life. Maybe you’re not in either of those categories, but instead, you deal with fear through coping mechanisms. You can’t avoid fear, but this helps you remove yourself from it.
Perhaps you’re one of the people who often feels defensive and a little compative when in a scary situation, leaning on defense mechanisms to get you through. If that’s you, you’re not alone. You’re not terrible. And you’re not stuck.
Coming soon, I’ll share some psychology and NLP based ways to deal with fear in a healthy way.
We’re all just doing the best we can!
What did you learn about fear? Did something specific resonate with you? Leave a comment and share. This small, brave move may help you let go of fears in your life!
If you're in business, you need to own your audience somewhere. It's not on facebook or instagram. But you knew that, right? Sooooo, where can you own your audience?
You know it already, don't you? I know you-you're such an intuitive person.
Yep, you were right-it's your email list!
So, if you're working to grow your email list, one of the best tools to do that is by creating lead-generation pieces.
What does "Lead Gen" mean?
Lead Gen (lead generation) is the idea of creating free content that you offer in exchange for someone's email address. You create something that generates new leads (potential clients) into your business.
When you implement a lead gen strategy, you're working to build your email list, fill your pipeline of interested people, and ultimately, have clients waiting to work with you.
It sounds pretty good, right?
What are lead gen pieces?
By now, you know that creating a strategy to generate leads on demand is alllllll kinds of ideal. So what can you create that people may want? here are a few ideas:
Comment below-Which one will you make first??
My favorite FREE and paid tools to create lead gen pieces
Maybe you've got an idea in mind and...if you're like me, you might feel like you need to go on a frantic hunt for a graphic designer.
Nope ;) Don’t overthink it, friend!
If you're just starting your lead gen strategy, you don't need a graphic designer. Here are my favorite FREE tools to create lead-gen pieces on my own. (add in your designer when you're ready)
FREE leadgen tool #1: Google docs, sheets, and slides
Here’s the big thing I run into with clients allllll the time: We think we need perfection when what we really need is action. Sometimes just putting something out there in the easiest way possible helps you get into a great pattern of momentum in your business. If this sounds like you, this tool is for you-this one is like…stupid simple!
Write everything in Google docs, add some formatting and a bit of branding, export it as a pdf and boom. You're good to go! If simple is what you’re craving, this couldn’t get simpler! Hey, don’t overlook the obvious! You can always improve it later, but if the content is great, then
FREE leadgen tool #2: Canva
Canva is a GREAT tool to create your graphic elements. Whether it's a youtube thumbnail or you want to add some pretty design to your workbook, checklist, quote cards, and wayyyyyy more. Seriously, the options here are endless. I have used canva a ton and found that, especially for free content, it gets me across the finish line for free!
I may have a new addiction in Canva-they’ve recently added infographics and now I’m kinda obsessed with them!
Leadgen tool #3: Leadpages (this one’s not free, but boy will you get a fast return!)
Once you've created your piece to offer, you'll want to find a way to exchange your content for email addresses. I personally use and LAAAAHHHV lead pages. I've hosted webinars with it, created opt-in forms, created sales pages, and created branded video pages. It's seriously been such a fun way to create value in exchange for email addresses.
Want to see leadpages in action?
If you don't want to go with lead pages, you can create something similar with your website, such as Squarespace, it will just be a manual build out whereas Lead pages has intuitive, tested templates that you can drag and drop your copy into.
Are you convinced? Comment below: which of these tools do you already love? Want to try?